“Two Worlds Apart”
By: Kesha Montgomery
QueensBorough CC ‘09
Her heart is filled with excitement as a young child races back to her mother. She is eager to tell her of the discoveries of her exploration. She enters her mom’s Introduction to Computer Applications course. Her mom is currently attending Borough of Manhattan Community College.
Kesha: Mommy, mommy!!
Her Mom: Ssshh Kesha, you can’t yell, this is a classroom. What’s wrong? Where did you go for all of that time? You were running around again weren’t you? You were supposed to go to the bathroom.
Kesha: I’m sorry mommy, but your school has everything it is so cool!! I found an escalator and it took me to a big pool like the one on TV at the Olympics! Mommy, I want to learn how to swim, can I?
Her Mom: You can and you will, Kesha.
Kesha: (Kesha drops her head sadly) I wish I could go to a school like this.
Her Mom: (Her mother grabs her arm) you can go to a school better than this. You can be anything you want in this world Kesha, remember that, anything. Baby you are smart, you will make it, I know you will. I’ll help you get to wherever it is you’re going the best way I know. All that I do is for you.
Kesha looks at her mother as the words sink into her brain. At such a young age, she does not yet know it, but she starts to see the world in a new perspective. She begins to dream.
The year is 2008, that girl is now a woman, standing on the roof top of a building that is part of NYC’s Housing Authority. Although born in Brooklyn, she appreciates having moved to Astoria because it has brought her closer to the city. Every night she can’t help but to walk up those many steps to get to the roof and see the towering structures that inhabit Manhattan. She can take the elevator but somehow using the stairs instills in her a sort of power and endurance, a metaphor of success. She knows that she can make it to the top and she will. It is a beautiful night; the city is bright and alive. Kesha can feel its energy in the air as it travels across the East River. She loves it in the city. It was there where she first learned to dream. She dreamed that she could be working in one of those many buildings where working women wear nice suits and leather heels.
At 19 years old, she is living the beginning steps on her path to fulfilling her dream. She has enrolled into college, where she is doing exceedingly well. Her major is of course business. She has taken to the subject with the attraction of a moth to a flame, eager to be consumed by the fire. Ms. Montgomery commonly chooses to sit in the first row, realizing the importance of being seen and heard. She wants to be on the front line, she is a warrior and the subject is an opponent for her to tackle. She wrestles the knowledge from the classroom lessons and the textbook and it willingly submits to her absorbing mind. Ms. Montgomery is one person, Kesha is another. Both are members of two different worlds. Each character superimposed over the other. While one is visible, the other remains concealed, pouring in strength to “she” who can be seen. In the classroom and in the city, she is Ms. Montgomery. At home, in the “hood”, she is Kesha.
When she takes a visit to the roof top, it helps her to leave a world behind, for she knows that she inhabits two. She must keep the two worlds separate for they can never meet. Behind her lies a neighborhood full of broken dreams: the projects, where she has witnessed the downfall of many. But in front of her, there is New York City, the city of dreams. It has rightfully earned that title. At sometimes it is hard for her to cope with keeping herself “separate”. Why should one environment favor Ms. Montgomery over Kesha and Kesha over Ms. Montgomery? She is one in the same. Who is Kesha? She is the lion in a concrete jungle, where to be weak would make you food for lions, in other words, the gazelles. Who is Ms. Montgomery? She is a shark in the business world. A world where you have to swim harder, faster, and more elite to be the best and to know the best. How is it that they who can accept the young lady in tims (Kesha) but not the woman in the dress suit and heels (Ms. Montgomery)? They who like Kesha fear Ms. Montgomery. She knows this, and they fear what they don’t understand. It is a character so alien to what they are use to. Many days she felt like a stranger in her own neighborhood, especially in Brooklyn. Ms. Montgomery had to always be kept hidden, caged and aggravated for not being able to express the intellect given to her as a birth right. Kesha has often felt incomplete and limited whenever Ms. Montgomery had to be absent from the world.
But who is Ms. Montgomery without Kesha? There were moments when Ms. Montgomery had felt awkward without the presence of Kesha. She almost felt vulnerable. Kesha has a strength, a passion that Ms. Montgomery finds admirable yet hard to control. In a way Ms. Montgomery can be as passive as a sheep, but once taken advantage of, she relies on Kesha, her wolf. It is hard to master the two, they belong in two separate worlds. Those who understand Ms. Montgomery would become repulsed by the attitude of Kesha. For they would not know who she is, they have never encountered such a fiery spirit; it has no place in their world. In a way, it upsets Kesha, Ms. Montgomery knows, they feel together. Ms. Montgomery wants to not feel at all; Kesha is too intense for her at times. Kesha is so confident, but is there an underlying insecurity that Ms. Montgomery has not yet discovered? Confidence, they both are familiar with the word, whether they are together or apart they both have it.
Self confidence, where does it originate? Is it at the core of our very being? Is it the element that defines how we carry ourselves? Is there such a thing as being over confident? Many weak minds lack confidence, and therefore they limit or delay themselves in the success that they can achieve. For if you’re not confident, how can you truly utilize your skills? When confidence is absent, you are under achieving because you lack the conviction to believe in your strengths. You convey to the world a sense of insecurity and uncertainty. Therefore, in a sense, lacking confidence is a weakness, a con, a flaw in who you are. You must develop confidence to effectively market yourself, tell people of your “brand”. What is confidence to Kesha and Ms. Montgomery? Everything. For they each know the power of letting your voice be heard has. When you see “these girls,” you will know that they are powerful, the air that they carry crackles with electricity, for it reflects the energy of the unity of their souls.
Although they may have to separate themselves, they are given opportunities to express the uniqueness of their unity. Kesha and Ms. Montgomery both share a love of children. For if it is not their mother, then children are the only people where Ms. Montgomery and Kesha can be one. How relieving it is to reveal both sides at once and to speak with both voices. Kesha revels in the moment when both of her words can shine on the youth. She wants the children of her neighborhood to see all that she can see and to know that there is a world beyond the projects. There are many opportunities, and in the words of her mother, you can be anything you want in this world. As if we are fledgling birds, we must learn to leave our nests and spread our wings to prepare ourselves for the flight. As Mayo Angelo has written “the caged bird sings of freedom”. Kesha sings, and Ms. Montgomery sings for two worlds to meet and for one to not encase the other, for there are things that each world can offer the other, for there are things that each world can offer the other. When Kesha Montgomery looks into the eyes of young children, she is at peace. She is teaching them how to dream. Showing them how to survive the jungle and learn how to swim in the sea. There are monsters in both worlds, but we cannot face their unjust ways with actions void of morality. Passive opposition young ones, you must learn to humble yourselves and you will go far. Ms. Kesha Montgomery is at peace now, for she has brought the shark to the jungle to teach the mammals how to swim, and she brings the lion to the sea to represent the rise of the jungle.
About the Author:
The author, Kesha Montgomery was born in Brooklyn’s NYCHA Roosevelt Projects in Bedford Stuyvesant. As a child she lived in two other New York City Housing complexes. Growing up, she had a relatively good childhood. Her mother, who always has a happy and determined spirit, shielded her from their struggle. However, Kesha was wise enough to know that the world didn’t end within the confines of her neighborhood. Her mother took her into the city with her often. Ms. Montgomery was always fascinated with the energy and activity in the city. As she grew up and learned to travel by herself, she visited the city many times alone. She was an explorer and her curiosities lead her to learn many things. She found a reprieve in the city’s large and beautiful buildings. Some were condominiums, while others were office buildings. Outside you may observe one building having floor to ceiling windows while inside them you may discover a floor made of black marble. There were many days when she left Manhattan with heartache. She knew that she would return to a place where there were no luminous buildings, yet gloomy ones. There would be no marble tiles or fancy light fixtures, and the evidence of an ongoing struggle would be etched upon the faces of many who lived there.
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